It's very cool to watch kids learn and grow. Last month, Bunny had a three-inch growth spurt. Of course, we were on vacation, and she outgrew everything we had packed--including the underwear!
This month, it was time for a brain spurt. We've noticed that just before her brain grows, she binges on one food. Once, it was salmon. Last time, she scarfed nine scrambled eggs in one sitting. This time, it was Eggo waffles. Seven of them, to be exact. Pretty impressive for a four-year old.
Well, the brain spurt happened. How do we know? Because this week, we heard:
BUNNY: These books are too easy. I need to go to the library to get something harder.
The reading level was grade 2.1. Go Bunny!
BUNNY: Daddy, that mosquito just alighted upon my leg.
Bunny is going through a helping phase. The other day at the pool, she didn’t want to leave until she helped the lifeguards put away all the pool floats. A few days ago, she helped by mopping the floor. And earlier this week, she helped me pack up some boxes.
We found a box that we thought was full of coathangers. At the bottom of the box, we found about thirty pairs of shoes. Bunny helped me put the shoes into totes to be properly stored. As we sorted through the shoes, Bunny found a pair of my high heels with an ankle strap. She told me that she really liked the shoes, and she put one on. Just one.
After we were done with the shoes, Bunny tried to walk in the shoe. With every step, she said “AARGH!” Step. Aargh. Step. Aargh. Step. Aargh. Eventually, I asked her what she was doing.
Yesterday was errand day. If you’ve never had the experience of running errands with a toddler, it’s quite an adventure. If you run errands for more than an hour or two, the child gets bored or exhausted, and you need to take a break. Otherwise, bad manners will result. I knew this going in.
We did errands anyway. Not just for two hours, mind you, but for eight. I didn’t want to do it that way, but sometimes you have to.
By hour number seven, it had been a long day for the both of us, and drama was in the air. She had started to act up at Home Depot, and the thought of making one last stop was discouraging. But, we needed toilet paper, and they sure don’t sell it there. I checked.
Onward to the super-mega-mart, where you can get almost everything under the sun. All I wanted was toilet paper. I envision how I can make this trip as quick as possible:
1) Put the Bunny in a cart; 2) Put toilet paper in the cart; and, 3) Pay at self-checkout.
In and out in less than five minutes. As we pull into the parking lot, I hear the dreaded words:
BUNNY: Mommy? I’m hungry. I’m staaarving. I wanna eat here.
And so we did. I had a salad, and she had a carton of blueberries. Her blueberry container boasted that she was consuming “Mighty Blues: The Powerful Snack”. With every blueberry she ate, she would display her muscles, thus confirming to everyone at the surrounding tables that she indeed was getting power from these Mighty Blues. Very cute and very entertaining. This “dinner and a show” made me hopeful that the rest of the night would go as smoothly.
It didn’t. After an impressive ballet-spin-gone-wrong and a more-impressive face plant in the middle of the dairy aisle, Bunny got put in the cart. She then went straight for the drama. Her “knee pads” hurt and she needed ice. When I refused, she copped an attitude, complete with bad manners and rudeness. I’m tired. She’s tired. It’s all downhill from here.
When we got to the register, I got her out of the cart, mainly because she had been using the lasagna-we-suddenly-needed as an ice pack. Bunny now went into full drama mode. So I asked her:
MOMMY BUNNY: When we came in here, you had good manners. Where did they go? BUNNY: I dunno. The good ones musta changed into bad ones. Two bags of bad manners. That’s all I got. MOMMY BUNNY: Well, you need to throw those bad manners away. BUNNY: Okay.
And she does. She goes over to the trash can, and mimes throwing away the two bags of bad manners. She then reaches into her mouth and pulls out the imaginary bad manners and throws them away. She walks back over. She’s hunching with her hands behind her back, and she’s pacing. She looks like a mini Groucho Marx. It’s damn amusing.
MOMMY BUNNY: What are you doing? BUNNY: I don’t have any manners yet. I don’t know how to act. CLERK: How do you get your manners? BUNNY: My bunnies give them to me. CLERK: She’s four, isn’t she?
Finally, her imaginary bunnies gave her good manners. We’re in the car and on the road. Things were going well. One quick stop at the dump to throw away two pieces of wood, and then onward towards home…
Until Daddy Bunny called. He just made it into town, and he’s hungry. Do we want to meet for dinner? Hold on, let me ask her.
MOMMY BUNNY: When we get home, Bunny, you need to go potty, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed. BUNNY: But Mommy! I’m so hungry! I’m staaarving!
Bunny is a girl who knows what she wants. And when it comes to drinks, she prefers chocolate milk. Warm chocolate milk.
When she was about two, Bunny went out to lunch with Papa (her grandpa). When the waitress asked Bunny what she wanted to drink, Bunny didn’t hesitate:
BUNNY: Chocolate milk warm. WAITRESS: Huh? PAPA: She wants chocolate milk, warmed. Not too hot, not too cold. WAITRESS: Oh. I don’t think we can do that. BUNNY: Put it in the microwave. Push the button.
Our yard is in bloom with wild roses, bluebells, and various other wildflowers. Over the past week, Bunny has been picking flowers almost every day, and then saving the flowers in a basket.
Yesterday, Bunny and I went to pick some wildflowers. I commented that I thought her flowers were very beautiful. She told me:
Bunny: Yeah. They're for my wedding. I'm getting married today. It's pretend, I think.
Thanks to the reader who wrote me to let me know that she was unable to post comments. That's probably one of the reasons why no one's posted any comments so far.
Regardless, the problem is all fixed now. So post away!
Wednesday, Bunny spent most of the day wrapped up in her own little world and imagination. From magic potions that turned me into a horse, to chocolate chip soup, to imaginary flying bunnies, it was fun to watch her adventures unfold.
My favorite imaginary game was the store. Apparently, her store was having a popsicle sale. She called it “Popsicle Wednesday”. Bunny found some popsicle molds, and “made” some for us to share. The flavors ranged from grape and orange to the more exotic “Strawberry Banana Canoe” and “Fun Dip Vanilla”.
Her favorite of the flavors? “Rainbow Bunny”. When I asked her about it, she assured me that it was very good.
Mommy Bunny: Really? Bunny: Yeah. It tastes just like bunny!
When Bunny was two-and-a-half, our family went to a club convention. About three hundred of our closest friends were there.
We were trying to potty train her, and it was difficult. She knew the mechanics, and she would pee her little potty at home, but not in a strange potty. And no matter how much we praised her for it, pooping in the potty was totally out of the question.
I took Bunny with me to the restroom when I had to go. The public bathroom was packed to capacity. When it was finally our turn, I asked her if she wanted to pee. She thought about it, and even got her pants down. But in the end, she decided against it. So, I went. Bunny then announced the following to the forty women in the bathroom:
Bunny: Do you see my butt? I see Mommy’s butt. Mommy pooped in the potty. Yay, Mommy! I'm so proud!
Bunny was extra-sweet on Mother’s Day. She was on her best behavior. As we walked, she kept holding my hand and kissing it. For a present, she picked out a new faceplate for my cell phone—pink hearts.
I told her how much I loved the extra attention and her good manners.
Mommy Bunny: I love the phone, Bunny. It’s great! Bunny: I picked it out, ‘cuz I love you. Mommy Bunny: I love you, too, little Bunny. Bunny: And I’m havin’ good manners ‘cuz I love you. Mommy Bunny: Thanks, sweetheart. Bunny: But I’m ruining Daddy’s life.
A few weeks back, Bunny and I were at the grocery store. As we were leaving, a Creepy Man in a bright yellow jacket approached us. Creepy Man tried telling us a joke or two. We smiled politely and moved on.
In the parking lot, Bunny and I had a talk about strangers.
Mommy Bunny: What would you do if a stranger tried to talk to you?
Bunny: I’d scream “Stranger!” and run away.
MB: Good. Now what if a stranger tried to grab you?
Tonight, we once again found ourselves at Home Depot. Daddy Bunny went there first, and I brought the Bunny with me about an hour later.
On our way to Home Depot, an idiot woman driver ran me and two other cars off the road because she can't talk and drive at the same time. At one point, I thought Bunny and I were goners. We made it through without a scratch, but I was shaking when we made it to Home Depot. Little Bunny was oblivious.
Once we got in, we found Daddy Bunny just fine. Bunny ran up to her Daddy, and they kissed and hugged. I butted in, because I needed some consolation of my own. Daddy Bunny realized I was a wreck, and as he hugged me, asked what was wrong.
Over the past few months, we’ve been doing a lot of home construction. Our treks to Home Depot are pretty frequent. One week I went to the Depot three times a day. After a while, I think they thought I was shoplifting.
So, on one of our numerous trips to the Depot, I elected to stay in the car. Daddy Bunny took the Bunny in. They must have stopped near the paint department, because when she came out, she had a bunch of paint sample cards. Most were vibrant and from Disney, but two were from Ralph Lauren. She handed me a pretty copper color card.
Bunny: Mommy, this is for you.
Mommy Bunny: Thanks, Bunny. It’s so pretty.
Bunny: Yeah. It matches your eyes.
I checked in the mirror. The color wasn’t a close match—it was an exact match. I was floored. She then handed Daddy Bunny a card that matched his eyes.
Daddy Bunny and I discussed the incident later. If you put a gun to my head and told me to pick out the paint color that matched my eyes, without being able to compare it, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it. Yet, Bunny went in the store, and picked out two paint samples without a reference—and nailed it.
Tonight was the first time we’ve heard of the TV show “Scarred”.For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s actual video of people doing stupid things, getting really hurt, and going to the hospital.They also interview these dimwits, who tell about their experiences getting scarred.
I guess there was a Scarred marathon on, because it was on for several hours in a row.We checked in on one episode during commercial breaks from another show, and found it fairly interesting, yet slightly disturbing.Like watching a train wreck, sometimes it was hard to look away.
So after our show was over, I decided to check out a full episode of Scarred.In the intro, they showed four crazy accidents, one of which left a skateboarder with bones visibly sticking out of his hand.Suddenly, I lost interest in watching the show.Bunny walked in to see what all the fuss what about. Our conversation unfolded thusly:
Mommy Bunny:YUCK!
Daddy Bunny: I take it you're not watching Scarred?
Mommy Bunny:Nah.I think I’m going to watch Scrubs. I have no need to see some guy with bones sticking out of his hand.
